I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
