the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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