i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
