is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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