what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
