Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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