Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
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