So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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