This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
