What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize