so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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