Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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