You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
