i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
