I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
