there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
