i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
