Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Well I just put wine in my tea
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
