return my video game
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
