Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
