did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
My pussy is not your playground.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
