I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
