They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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