What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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