Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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