Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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