I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
