My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
