Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
