Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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