her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
