why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
