can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
