it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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