at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
