um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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