His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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