ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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