Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
