I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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