Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
