dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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