chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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