yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i dont even know how to be here
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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