that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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