would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
so let's talk penis.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
