he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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