those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he fucked my hip out of place.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
