I love having hate sex.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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