i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
you made out with another girl for some wings
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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