So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
