Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize