Have you finally orgasmed yet?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
