careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
