i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
