ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
