youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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