We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
