She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
