o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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