Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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