My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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