Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize