Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
